Forgiveness isn’t about ‘condoning’ what happened. It’s not an easy pass, complacency or letting ourselves or someone else off the hook, as if to say the alternative is punishment or suit...
When someone harms or upsets us and they then apologise, it’s easy to assume that’s the end of it. Problem solved. Let’s move on. We’ve learned that getting an apology is what matters. So...
Picture this: After dating your emotionally unavailable coworker, they’ve ended the relationship. I can’t give you what you want; it’s me, not you; I’m not ready for a relationship; I sti...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/working-with-your-ex-when-you-dont-want-to-be-friends-how-to-cope/
It’s easy to misconstrue stressful habits we’ve normalised, such as our anxiety, guardedness and a tendency to overthink and critique as being signs of conscientiousness. We might think we ha...
There are so many humans struggling due to believing, on some level, that they’re not good enough because of childhood experiences. We misunderstand painful and uncomfortable events, and they b...
A challenge we face when we’re consciously going out of our way to create healthier boundaries after recognising where we need to break unhealthy patterns is an internal debate about giving som...
Refusing to forgive yourself is a refusal to take responsibility. Just as punishing a child without a clear understanding of responsibility, the lesson and moving forward is ineffective and cruel...
In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I revisit the topic of pressing the ‘reset button’. This is where somebody attempts to reset the relationship to a point they feel m...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ep-227-lets-stop-pressing-the-reset-button/
Don’t get too caught up in the story. When you’ve experienced hurt, loss and disappointment, it’s easy to become swaddled in the security blanket of the pain. You get used to telling the st...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-story-isnt-the-same-as-the-truth/
You’re not entitled to a date or relationship with that certain someone. Even though you might be The Nicest Person on Earth TM or you bent over backwards to accommodate them by busting your bo...
When life doesn’t go according to plan, when we believe we’ve erred or even failed, it’s worth considering whether part of why it feels so crushing, so painful, is the underlying belief tha...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/what-if-youre-not-inviting-misfortune-upon-yourself/
When we embark on creating healthier boundaries, it means that we have to put our needs, expectations, desires, feelings and opinions about our preferences, principles and priorities into action....
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-193-the-landmarks-of-boundaried-communication/
When someone shows us who they are, they’re showing us their values. If that’s different to who we are and where we want to go, we have to acknowledge this incompatibility. But sometimes, des...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-180-time-for-a-second-or-umpteenth-chance/
So many of us struggle with giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings, especially when it comes to anger. We worry that anger is ‘wrong’ and that it makes us a rageaholic if we acknowl...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-178-give-yourself-permission-to-feel-and-express-anger/
This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions explores freaking out over decisions. So many of us learned from the adults around us while growing up to regard things we do in childhood as...