At heart, I’d like to be a relationship anarchist but I’ve gone along with my partners (yes plural) who wanted rules and because it wasn’t worth fighting over. And frankly, I barely have ti...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/27119/rules-boundaries-making-this-up-as-we-go/
For newbies and many experienced people, the greatest fear of swinging is being found out by vanillas. That’s not surprising since it would subject one to at best judgment, possibly condemnatio...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/27115/the-swingers-next-door/
This is Part 2 for the title but only because I got side tracked in writing Part 1. We recently went to a house party. Ostensibly it was for swingers but there were numerous poly folks there are ...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/25959/up-for-anything-part-2/
Life gets busy when you’re … well you know the drill. Another year of poly and swinging and I find that I haven’t written anything here for nearly a year and haven’t checked my lifestyle ...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/25953/up-for-anything-part-1/
I started this blog when I was brand new to swinging and the idea of open relationships. You may have noticed a drop off in articles considering I haven’t written anything in months. I haven’...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/23784/advice-from-ms-scarlet-how-to-find-a-poly-quad/
I am talking about the overlaps between polyamory and swinging at the upcoming Beyond The Love Polyamory conference. It’s November 13-15 in Ohio if you are interested. http://www.beyondthelove....
One of the good things about writing is that it gives you a chance to collect your thoughts. This is one of those articles. What I want to talk about is when you get to ask someone to stop seeing...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/21943/asking-a-lot-poly-swinger-rules-and-boundaries/
The forums I read seem to have endless bitching about whether or not people are “true swingers” or “social swingers” or whether some swingers are just complete sluts or (gasp!) bednotcher...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/21851/two-kinds-of-swingers-hunters-and-farmers/
This post was written in response to the If I Knew Then Project, asking us who care about GBLTQ youth to write a note to our younger self. http://ifiknewthenproject.webs.com/submissions Dear Hi...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/21265/if-i-knew-then-project-note-to-my-younger-self/
The Doctor (is that a Dr. Who reference? Be still my, beating heart) recently opined on the judgmental swingers he comes across who don’t care for his asymmetrical style of play. You don’t ha...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/21023/judge-dread-judging-judged/
I recently read on a swinger forum a question by a newbie asking what advice people could give. They gave pretty standard advice: Go slow, followed by people saying don’t go too slow or you’l...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/20582/communication-communication-communication/
It’s our one year anniversary. So I can safely say that Mr. Scarlet and I are no longer newbies. We made it past the red pill/blue pill decision and decided to go full bore with the red pill re...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/20004/sex-factoids-anniversary-random-facts/
I guess you could call me an agnostic. I am pretty ambivalent about the idea of God or for that matter the afterlife. I’d like to believe and have faith and all that jazz. But it’s not that e...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/19997/angels-swinger-nuclear-option/
My resolution to just concentrate on my poly relationships and not swinging didn’t even last until the post on that was published. I am not going to let one crappy experience scare me away or l...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/19592/confidence-super-sexy/
I have decided to elaborate on the part of my last post that related to oxytocin. It appears that some people have no idea what I was talking about. My girlfriend seemed to think I was talking ab...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/19525/newbie-mistake-1-deceived-hormones/
I have been having an internal debate on hanging up my hat on swinging, or my club wear as the case may be. At this point, I’m questioning if the good outweighs the bad. The first thing bad thi...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/19484/stop-swinging-throwing-baby-bathwater-yet/
Last night, we took the Foxes to our favorite swing club. We gave them a brief tour and went over the more unique rules of this particular club. Mrs. Fox and I changed out of our street clothes a...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/19250/advice-single-guys-talk/
There is a certain irony in that few days after my last blog post on Tandem Dating, that everything went to hell with the Bears. I don’t really want to go into the details. There are people who...
My loved ones know I write this blog and sometimes they read it. Sometimes they disagree and have been known to call me out on it, especially Mr. Scarlet who never pulls any punches. Sometimes th...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/19006/addition-non-monogamy-dictionary-tandem-dating/
For me, an important part of non-monogamy whether it is swinging or polyamory is the general sex positive attitude of a lot of people. First of all, it is generally refreshing. Second, I think th...
I work in marketing. So I would like to take a moment to write about what I feel may be the worst marketed sex product ever. I am speaking about FC2, aka the female condom. You could consider thi...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/18444/worst-marketed-sex-product-ever-fc2/
As Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us, I have decided to wax philosophically on the topic of love. As I enter the sixth month of non-monogamy it is clear that things can be quite messy. Perha...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17527/many-loves-just-lovers/
How to start this blog post? I feel like I ought to close the chapter on Old Flame that I started in the three part series on why we got into swinging. I learned about Life On The Swingset in my ...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17475/entering-the-lifestyle-whatever-happened-to-old-flame/
A forum on a swinger dating board that I frequent recently had a question as to what the couple kept back to be special just for them. The most common answers seemed to be along the lines of kiss...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17410/rules-and-boundaries-reserved-powers-for-the-primary-pair/
As mentioned previously, I am taking a class on Behavioral Economics. The key point is that humans are not rational decision makers. This is true in economic decisions and I believe it is also tr...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17193/overcoming-choice-overload-options/
***I feel like I should preface this by saying that Mr. Scarlet and I have worked through our issues several months ago, learned from it, and moved on, if not to relationship nirvana, then at lea...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17195/part-3-mr-ms-scarlet-become-swingers/
After three and a half months in the lifestyle, I have some random thoughts that are too short for their own independent blog posts. So since it is that time of year when people summarize the yea...
To recap Part 1. I was very promiscuous, got married young, got knocked up fast, completely lost my libido, gained a lot of weight (like 70 pounds), was pretty depressed, bitchy, and unhappy. Mr....
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17190/part-2-ms-scarlet-got-groove-back/
Almost without fail one of the first questions that someone asks me when at a swinger event is something along the lines of “Why did you get involved with swinging?” It’s a long story likel...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17030/why-part-1-where-did-my-fucking-libido-go/
For a long time Mr. Scarlet thought I was a permanent student and never was going to get a real job. I have one now but which sucks so I was greatly excited to learn about MOOC’s (Massive Onlin...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17024/overcoming-choice-overload-weeding-through-profiles/
I used to own my own business. Hiring people was always a challenge. There are so many flakes out there. People who didn’t show up to interviews. People who showed up late to interviews without...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17020/newby-adventures-do-we-need-a-screening-form/
You don’t have to be involved with swinging for very long before you learn the term “Unicorn.” A single, preferably hot, bi-sexual woman. Some say they are named that as they are supposedly...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/17008/looking-unicorn-want-centaur/
I have been married a long time. As in I have long since passed the anniversaries of wood, steel, and crystal and am now approaching the year for platinum. Mr. Scarlet will love that and I’d be...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/16946/entering-lifestyle-profile-decisions-aka-sexuality/
I have now been “in the lifestyle” a grand total of five weeks. Five very interesting weeks, five very educational weeks. While I suppose that I will eventually blog about why Mr. Scarlet and...
https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/16893/entering-lifestyle-go-big-go-home/