Texts From Last Night

(910): then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow. (910): it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tom...

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80199.html

(870): Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80198.html

(910): Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80197.html

(202): He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family (202): In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is...

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80196.html

(256): After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80195.html

(902): I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80194.html

(305): He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80193.html

(812): I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80192.html

(336): I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie. (1-336): Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year. (336): Yes. Several neighbors ha...

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80191.html

(310): If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80190.html

(330): it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80189.html

(870): if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80188.html

(202): His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80187.html

(870): Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80186.html

(305): I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-80185.html