BEING handsome or beautiful is not the be-all-and-end-all of being attractive but it does account for 95 per cent, scientists have confirmed.
A WHATSAPP group is the mourning the loss of one of its members after it was discovered his silence was not due to him ‘being shit at the bantz’, but because he is dead.
A CANTERBURY cafe has banned laptops and claims it has helped build a community. Should others do the same?
SMARTPHONE apps were meant to make life easier but instead add to the general anxiety of it by harassing you constantly. Like these ones.
WHATSAPP loves shit-stirring by telling you a friend has deleted a message. Here’s a reasonable guess at what they said.
BUCKINGHAM Palace has admitted that no such person as ‘Kate Middleton’ ever existed outside of digital imaging software.
SIGNING off an email is a minefield in which you’re always just one word away from metaphorically losing a foot. Here are some of the twattiest sign-offs to avoid.
A HEART-WARMING montage of recent images created by a father’s phone consists almost entirely of pictures of meter readings and Wi-Fi router codes.
SEX, like justice, must not only be done but be seen to be done. But when signalling to friends, family and work colleagues from 2008 that you’ve recently done it be subtle.
THE first US craft to land on the moon for 50 years has reported that it is still a big dusty rock of little interest to anyone.
IT is only a matter of hours until a man’s gleaming new laptop will be used to view the most degrading pornography imaginable, he has admitted.
TEENAGERS are to dance to robot music on a Chinese surveillance app in our lovely sunny dystopian future, it has emerged.
THE mental acuity which men experience after ejaculation lasts for precisely 120 seconds, scientists have confirmed.
YOUNG people always listen to adults and never want things they are told they can’t have. Here Tory MP Miriam Cates explains how she would make them stick to a smartphone ban.
HAVE you been wrongly accused of theft due to clunky Fujitsu technology? Here’s how to claim compensation from our 100 per cent reliable Fujitsu online hub.
IT’S hard to underestimate the impact of telling people you’re a big swinging dick who sends messages from an iPhone. Here’s what impressed recipients think, in their own words.
AN aunt’s Mario Kart character is still doggedly accelerating into a wall four days after the rest of the family put down their controllers.
A MAN home for Christmas has spent Boxing Day swiping his way through hometown Tinder while lying on the Steven Gerrard duvet he got when he was ten.