THE prime minister plans to recover from today’s election results by launching a new pandemic and furloughing everyone.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/sunak-pins-hopes-on-new-pandemic-20240503247500
ARE you a Conservative MP worried about job security? Learn how to stand out from millions of other jobseekers desperate for work with this guide.
THE electorate has reassured the Conservatives they would find a change of leader both desperate and hilarious.
THE public has been informed that if they stand still and the wind is blowing in the right direction, they will actually be able to hear the Conservative party imploding.
LOCAL Conservative councillors have done nothing wrong, so will you vengefully punish them for the sins of the national party in local elections tomorrow?
LONDON mayoral candidate Susan Hall has been criticised for a campaign based on unhinged attacks on Sadiq Khan and appearing to hate the capital. Here she shares a last rant before losing.
It's news to us
It's news to us
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/sunak-to-invade-scotland-for-easy-win-20240429247353
SO many Tories have defected to Labour over the years they have an initiation ritual modelled on the Hell’s Angels. This is what Dr Dan Poulter will have to endure.
WHO needs a functioning opposition to f**k up a decade in government? Not the SNP! They’ve proved you can do it effectively and stylishly all on your own.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/scotland-to-give-up-20240426247318
HUMZA, buddy, I’ve just seen the news. Bad luck, mate. Not everyone can be universally adored like me. Want to know how I do it? I’ll let you into a few secrets.
It's news to us
LABOUR’S rail nationalisation plans have confirmed they are a party unafraid to do the entirely obvious thing if they feel it benefits Britain.
RISHI Sunak is increasing defence spending and preparing for war. Would you send your children to battle under his indefatigable command?
THE prime minister is eagerly awaiting opinion polls that will reveal whether Britain really is as cretinous as he hopes.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/sunak-waits-to-see-if-britain-is-that-stupid-20240423247180
THE prime minister, drunk on power, has proudly declared that nothing except several very real hurdles now stand in the way of the Rwanda bill.
THE government is to take the issuing of sick notes from GPs and hand it to a panel of specially selected sadistic bastards.
THIS kitchen – similar to one owned by Angela Rayner – may look harmless, but could easily have been used for a host of serious crimes. Forensic kitchen investigator Martin Bishop gives his v...
EVERYONE loves Conservative MPs and their propensity to stumble into hilarious sex outrages. Gather the family around and match the backbencher to their scandal!