IT CAME FROM ALLEN'S BRAIN!

 And now, the conclusion of the story, which will introduce the theme of repentance. ----- It was very dark.  The oppressive heat continued, though the sun had gone down hours before, and eve...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2023/06/the-fairable-part-third.html

 This is night #2 of the Fairy Tale-themed camp week: "Who Am I?" I'm prefacing each vespers message with a piece of a longer story that addresses each night's theme. Night #2 is "There's more...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2023/06/another-fairable.html

 Somehow, even though I posted the Case of the Stolen Stiff back in 2018, I failed to post my April Fool's Easter sermon from the week before. ****    Good Morning Friends! It’s Easter! ...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2021/03/even-though-i-posted-case-of-stolen.html

The following was my attempt to preach a sermon on the reliability of the accounts of resurrection of Jesus into a sort of hardboiled detective story. Blame it on St Matthew. He's the one who...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2018/04/the-case-of-stolen-stiff.html

The carpenter was on a roll. He launched into another one of his nutty stories.    “A king’s son was getting married, so he sent out invitations.” (At least it wasn’t one of those �...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2017/10/the-gospel-of-melvin-parable-of-wedding.html

The account of the woman captured while committing adultery has a sketchy place in the accepted Gospels, appearing in no manuscript before the 6th century. Imagine my surprise at discovering a ve...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2016/09/gospel-of-melvin-on-woman-taken-in.html

- The only proper posture for prayer is head-bowed, eyes-closed. - Prayer is how we get God to do our will. - Prayer is the method by which God finds out what is going on in the world. - Pr...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/07/what-ive-learned-about-prayer-from-how.html

12 more answers, arranged topically for your inconvenience. “Why do you have a banana in your ear?” I asked (yet a fourth time.) Semantical: - Don’t think of it as “in my ear.” T...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/06/further-contemplations-of-sundry.html

In my work among the Mohammedans*, I discovered a unique custom they had regarding the blessed beverage.  On those summer days when it is hottest, they climb to the highest peaks and collect qua...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/06/st-espressus-of-java-on-iced-coffee.html

I'm translating some more of the Melvin gospel today. Seems to be a conflation of the woman at the well in Sychar (John 4) and the woman taken in adultery (John 8.) Perhaps the completed text wil...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/06/more-melvin-on-way.html

And why do YOU have a banana in your ear? - "Oh, I think we BOTH know the answer to THAT, don't we?" Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more! (I have no idea what this answer is really suppose...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/06/more-bananas-more-ears-more-answers.html

Why do you have a banana in your ear? - "It keeps away the feral penguins." This is sensible. Do you see any feral penguins around? No? Must be working. - "Who wants to know?" Ya' can'...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-dozen-more-answers-to-banana-question.html

Because when life gets surreal, sometimes ya just gotta respond in like kind, and stick a banana in your ear! Consider the classic example of our hero, Ernie: And when Bert asks him why he h...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/05/other-answers-to-why-do-you-have-banana.html

Been on a film noir kick lately. And since this is the Brain Lab, I had to involve coffee and monsters. And absurdly over-the-top bad writing. My own photo of my home espresso maker. I ...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/04/tea-kettle-of-damned.html

Now the feast of Passover was about to begin, and as Jesus and his disciples neared Jerusalem, they stopped upon the mount of Olives. Then the lazy carpenter, who walked everywhere, suddenly deci...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/04/melvins-palmless-sunday.html

More confusing religious kitsch found at my local "Christian Store." Resurrection Sunday edition. Okay: Bunny. Giant egg decorated in pastel colors. All these point to Easter, right? But, O...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/04/not-what-it-appears-to-be.html

Because I tend to find most question list memes a bit dull and unchallenging, here is a quiz for the weirdly creative and the creatively weird. As they say at the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation:...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-allens-brain-personography-quiz.html

I've seen this "inspirational" slogan many times before. And I get it; I really do. But I am a warped brain, and I see something else entirely in this particular presentation of the sentence....

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/03/because-we-really-love-coffee.html

Because I was reading through some of my old posts the other day, I got to reread an old 5-parter story that made me giggle like the mad brain that I am. I'm hoping you (re)enjoy it, too. Click ...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/02/wednesdays-child-is-full-of-nostalgia.html

This fragment seems to belong to the Sermon on the Mount, following this section . ***** If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. And do not let your left hand know ...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/02/death-dismemberment-in-gospel-of-melvin.html

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/01/coming-this-february-2nd.html

The delightful Miss Mary O'Regan at The Path Less Taken has bestowed upon me the Sunshine Award, for being inspiring, or was it for curing neuropraxia? I can't remember. Accepting the award requ...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/01/good-day-sunshine-award.html

A sort of commentary on the "Massacre of the Innocents." ***** As you may remember, after the Magi brought gifts to and worshiped the Christ Child, they were warned by God in a dream not to retu...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2014/01/hope-for-weeping-rachel_6.html

And finally...       I asked my Grandpa Arnie, “Whatever happened to your amazing, fantastic, stupendously ugly Christmas sweater?”     “Oh, I outgrew it the next year. So, I gave...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-amazing-fantastic-stupendously-ugly_23.html

The New Kid In School     “Well, the poinsettia covered up the stain from the spaghetti sauce incident, but NOW I had to wear it! Can you imagine being a boy eight or nine years old, and ...

http://allens-brain.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-amazing-fantastic-stupendously-ugly_21.html