SUFFERING? Girlfriend implying it’s your own fault because you refuse to take the feeble medications she recommends? These are no different to homeopathy.
OUTSIDE the newsagent in the year 2044 lurk two men in their early thirties. They hold up a £40 note and ask you to get them a packet of Silk Cut. Will you?
A TAXPAYER-funded GP has made the depraved suggestion that a couple trying to conceive a child should have frequent sexual intercourse.
It's news to us
A THERAPIST is helping a client to gradually reach the understanding that all of their problems are there own f**king fault, it has emerged.
THE UK is facing a choice between continuing to eat crisps or living longer, and made its decision before reaching the end of this sentence.
It's news to us
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/we-only-want-to-do-sexy-teeth-say-dentists-20240207245188
A MOTHER has decided that her son’s 25th birthday should be marked with anecdotes about perineal tears and a pelvic floor ‘that never recovered’.
THE first duty of any son is to care for his elderly father’s prostate. Unless you’re Harry, who is nowhere to be seen when he should be soothing Charles’ inflamed spunk gland.
AS a loyal subject it is your duty to help the Royal Family in any way possible, so touch this picture of a stomach and start praying for Kate. Now.
COUPLES who run, cycle and attend the gym together are scoping out each other’s physical flaws before the inevitable fight to the death.
MOST depressing day of the year? Only if you fall for that nonsense. Stoical father Steve Malley tells you how to get through it by not feeling emotions.
SNACKING is one of the few sources of joy we can look forward to each day. Here health obsessive Lauren Hewitt reveals the best foods to make it miserable.
THE pre-recorded message on a GP’s answerphone has advised anyone who has symptoms of a seasonal cold to put the phone down and piss off.
ATHLETIC gym regulars are savouring the annual spectable of overweight, panting new members pounding on running machines.
AS the new year begins we all turn to the Guardian for advice on coping with the stresses and strains of modern life. Here are their tips to make you feel good, all the time, about everything.
THE hinterland between Christmas and New Year punishes your body and mind in novel ways. These hangovers are why you’ll return to work not remotely refreshed.
A MIDDLE-AGED man has adopted a new skincare routine, despite being so leathery and grizzled that it is too late to make a difference.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/man-starts-moisturising-far-far-too-late-20231210243325