One of the mistakes many make in trying to have boundaries is seeing them solely as a means of guiding and directing or even ruling others. Boundaries are for us first and foremost. Others know o...
When we’re not used to letting our real selves hang out, voicing our needs, and creating healthy boundaries, it’s not unusual to assume that if we’re really into someone and we have ‘so m...
Something I see a lot of confusion around is the purpose of standards. We decide that we have certain standards, and when people behave in ways that don’t reflect these, we get mad at them. We ...
Guilt is that sense you have of having committed a wrongdoing. Now, as feelings aren’t facts, feeling you’ve done something wrong isn’t the same as actually having done something wrong. Nev...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/having-needs-and-boundaries-doesnt-make-you-a-bad-person/
Mutually fulfilling relationships take the consistent honesty of being emotionally available. Intimacy happens when two people have gotten over the pretence that they’re perfect and have stoppe...
In our initial interactions with someone new, we are, on some level, attempting to decipher whether they are safe. Dr. Bruce D. Perry explains in his bestselling book with Oprah, What Happened T...
Boundaries are the often invisible and much-needed lines between us and others. They communicate our comfort levels and how we feel about ourselves. People know we value love, care, trust and re...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/healthier-boundaries-allow-you-to-express-your-authentic-self/
Loving somebody takes knowledge and understanding. As a result, we experience love when we practise vulnerability, compassion and empathy, so to love is giving. We actively choose not to let fear...
Boundaries give us a sense of self, allow us to meet our (and other people’s) needs healthily, and encourage us to treat and be treated with love, care, trust and respect in the process of doin...
When we prioritise the core values of love, care, trust and respect, we stop getting sidetracked by what we think are signs of one of these values while sacrificing the presence and importance of...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/what-you-prioritise-in-your-relationship-prevails/
Here’s an all too common scenario: Person A goes on a date with Person B. Person A thinks they came across well and that they both had a good time. Despite seemingly positive signals on the dat...
The reason why we, for instance, don’t ask for what we need and want, or have boundaries, or express our feelings or flag discomfort, and why we engage in habits like people pleasing, is an und...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-226-yeah-but-am-i-needy/
In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I share a recent experience with our new dog walker and trainer that reminded me how everything is contextual. When people talk about s...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-224-our-experience-of-someone-may-differ-due-to-context/
In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I talk about why keeping up appearances as a way of life can be so damaging and why we’ve got to connect with who we really are and wan...
If we make it someone else’s job to make us happy, we assign them a role, and with that comes obligations, expectations and responsibilities. It also creates a transactional aspect. If we thin...
https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/its-not-someone-elses-job-to-make-us-happy/