Maize

Imagine this: you’re refilling gas for your car when a shadowy creature emerges. You can hear something mumbling but can’t make out the words. You drop the fuel filler and your shoes are soaked in oil. The dim gas station light begins to show the shadowy creature. He whispers in your ear, “I like crackers and snacks.” As he waddles away you look down your pants only to find a single stick of maize where your penis used to be. I am the man with no name, I’m 26, I’m a USMC veteran, and love things like pokemon, guns, literature, maize, history, cartoons, debates, dogs, cats, tigers, otters, music, and the Green Bay Packers. Enjoy your stay.

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/638714456870961152

flip-this-table : > scp682 > : >  >  >>  the year is 2020, and i am found guilty of treason against the >>  united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/624503170347008000

cocomoraine : >>  I spit on the men, who did this. And I curse the price I have to >>  pay. But I am making my peace with it. You make yours. And go into >>  ...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/185816602555

amatesura : >>  DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING HERE?! TELL THOSE GENIUSES WHAT >>  THEY HAVE DONE! I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! TELL THEM! GO TELL THEM! >>  RYZHKOV! GO ...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/185816476080

tvandfilmdaily : > CHERNOBYL (2019), EP2 | EP5

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/185816451680

tryingtobealwaystrying : > THE REAL ANATOLY DYATLOV  >  > Since this has been requested @elenatria > , @oikid > , @creation-vs-destruction >  and I’ve already > procrasti...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/185816445910

reese-witherspoon : > MUSIC IN FILM: THE BALLAD OF BUSTER SCRUGGS (2018) dir. Joel and > Ethan Coen

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/180544990240

landofbins : > fuckingexplosive > : >  >  >>  dojutsu >>  : >>   >>   >>>   me watching pastel and anime kin blogs talk about wanting to >>>   kill people >>   >>...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/179819665595

terraesthetix : > carbink > : >  >  >>  castielsroosterteethwingman >>  : >>   >>   >>>    >>   >>  So basically the cylinder that science has used as THE kilogram ...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/179819648860

cheshireinthemiddle : > 

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/179343328895

snarkitect : > the scariest thing is that the banshee is a normal human with no > animal features

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/179343326690

mk-ultra-armory : > 

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/179343311780

bonkalore : > anubianpagan > : >  >  >>  everythingfox >>  : >>   >>   >>>   This is so dramatic

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/179343289330

cptwaddle : > duran-duran-less-official > : >  >  >>  bobbycaputo >>  : >>   >>   >>>   DROPPING ICE DOWN A 90M BOREHOLE IN ANTARCTICA MAKES A VERY >>>   UNEXPECTED�...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/179343249585

byzantinefox : > biggest-gaudiest-patronuses > : >  >  >>  the-everything-man >>  : >>   >>   >>>   bog-dweller-official >>>   : >>>    >>>    >>>>    cathugging >>>...

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/178314648435

aviewfrommercury : > mlmgods :  >  >>   >  > Shaggy would never say that. >  > This is far more accurate:

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/178314619215

al-arc : > Best use of marketing at my school

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/178314530370

ddc4814 : > when shit’s going down but it ain’t none of your business

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/178314423290

holy-toledo-4077 : > Some more MASH memes

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/178314416040

dacasyo : > iconic

https://slowking-s-thompson.tumblr.com/post/175187155960