Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care ...
https://www.fmylife.com/article/the-internet-never-forgets_416074.html
Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting al...
https://www.fmylife.com/article/welcome-to-the-rest-of-your-life_416093.html
Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely s...
Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landla...
Today, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album. I’m a life long Swiftie. I also had a baby last year. Her name is Aimee. One of the lyrics in Taylor’s new song is “F**ck you, Aimee.” Now...
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stit...
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door ...
Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than ...
Today, after patiently waiting to see my boyfriend for a month because he was overseas, I excitedly went to the airport to finally pick him up, only for him to walk straight past me to greet his ...
Today, my girlfriend invited me over because her husband was going to work. That bastard picked the PERFECT day to have the stomach flu and call out of work to come back home. I had to hide in th...
Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next ...
Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'...
https://www.fmylife.com/article/squatters-rights_415965.html
Today, we live in a terraced house with very thin walls. For no reason, I sang "Una paloma blanca, I have a huge hairy cock" loudly in the bathroom. I walked down the garden path and encountered ...
https://www.fmylife.com/article/private-talent-show_416010.html
Today, the best moment of my day is when I wake up because I need to use the bathroom, then afterwards look at the clock to see that there's only a couple of hours before I have to get up for goo...
Today, a customer called me a "smart ass" because I helped him scan his coupon correctly. FML By Karen
Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just ...
Today, it's been almost five years since the cat I grew up with passed away. I STILL have dreams where she's alive and well, only to be utterly crushed when I wake up and realize it's just that: ...
https://www.fmylife.com/article/you-are-always-on-my-mind_415954.html
Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. ...
Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of p...
https://www.fmylife.com/article/this-is-your-brain-under-capitalism_415920.html
Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than ...
https://www.fmylife.com/article/blocked-and-reported_416014.html