I asked a magic 8-ball if I would ever get better in social situations. Not only did it not answer me, but I got yelled at and hit with a pool stick. submitted by /u/Jarryd10
A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective... The cheapest one he could find. This is his report: Most Honorable Sir, You leave house. I watch house. He ...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccz0uk/the_chinese_detective/
He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees on...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccyfxi/a_guy_goes_to_a_house_of_prostitution_he_selects/
Ancient Egyptians babies did not know that one day their Daddy will become a Mummy.. Neither did Kardashians submitted by /u/AnonymousBobC
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccv83i/egyptians_v_kardashians/
Next month I'll spend my drinking money on rent. submitted by /u/incredibleinkpen
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccsqrx/my_wife_thinks_i_have_an_alcohol_problem_but_im/
Gotta say——not a big fan. submitted by /u/porichoygupto
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccpm0e/last_week_i_went_to_a_miniature_wind_turbine/
But I showed up late for dinner just ONE TIME, and she gave me the cold shoulder. submitted by /u/Major_Independence82
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccpdw3/i_used_to_date_a_woman_who_was_a_cannibal/
She wants to know the name of my first pet, my mom's maiden name, and where I was born. It's called a conversation. Ladies, take note. submitted by /u/launderingpileofcash
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccolr6/met_this_girl_online_yesterday_shes_so_into_me/
A man was in a bar all day and had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling every now and then, so the barmaid reluctantly went to check on him. "Sir, what are you yelling ab...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccn7ja/drank_guy_in_a_bar/
When my boss came into the IT department and saw me using two keyboards at once, he said "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" I said. "That's stereotyping.” submitted by /u/vil...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccmo5k/two_keyboards/
Aye Matey. submitted by /u/Flaky_Door
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccltqt/what_did_the_pirate_say_when_he_turned_80/
They just aren’t really into each other. submitted by /u/crowdedconscience
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccjobc/why_dont_mma_fighters_have_sex_the_night_before_a/
It's nice of him to work Pro Bono. submitted by /u/MarvinLazer
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccivh7/just_found_out_my_lawyer_works_for_a_charity_run/
the first guy sighs, “i sure wish i could talk my wife into having sex like that” “easy” answers his friend, “just ply her with a couple of martinis first, that’ll do the trick”. ...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cchn6m/2_guys_drive_by_dogs_doing_it_in_a_yard/
I asked my lawyer if she could get me off submitted by /u/Proof_Let4967
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccch7b/i_was_sued_for_sexual_harassment/
Tickle me Elmo There is a factory in Northern Ireland which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factor...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cc6oi6/tickle_me_elmo/
I was telling my friend how I want to help rehabilitate prisoners by teaching them to read and write. At first it sounded like a good idea but then he started bringing up some interesting points....
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cc551n/im_thinking_about_teaching_prisoners_how_to_read/
The transaction was tit for tat. submitted by /u/Plastic-Bar122
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cc205h/the_tattoo_artist_gave_a_pretty_woman_a_tattoo/
There were 3 boys playing nearby. Seeing the blonde, they stopped her and said "Can you please climb up this tree and get our kite? We tried and failed!" The blonde says "Sure" and quickly cl...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cc1vzy/a_blonde_was_walking_to_her_friends_house/
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!” “Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet then.” submitted by /u/YZXFILE
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cc0xyc/a_guy_walks_into_an_elevator_and_stands_next_to_a/
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but...look at what kids your age make in China!" submitted by /u/Make_the_music_stop
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cc0rei/my_7_year_old_nephew_showed_me_with_pride_the/
An old country boy with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a game Warden. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "No, sir. Don't need one." These he...
Initially it was „normal“, then it became „light“ and now it is „zero“ submitted by /u/alexc2020
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cbwo8x/married_life_is_like_coca_cola/
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behi...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cbt28u/nurse_are_my_testicles_black/
The doctor does lab work, examines the guy all over, and sits down with the man. "Well," the doctor says, "all your labs, including your testosterone level, are absolutely normal. The thing is th...
https://ll.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cbkqw3/a_mountain_of_a_man_has_a_highpitched_squeaky/