A guy stumbles across a lamp half-buried in the sand by the seashore. He picks it up, rubs it, and a genie pops out. The genie says, “I grant you a wish for freeing me from this lamp, but there...
It's a shame, but I'm sure they'll turnip. submitted by /u/doc_nano
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ce1yh8/did_you_hear_about_the_case_of_the_missing_root/
The creampie submitted by /u/Zerochl
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdzlgv/what_could_be_the_most_expensive_dessert/
A: Drops him off at band practice. submitted by /u/ResinJones76
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdzfib/q_what_does_a_stripper_do_with_her_asshole_before/
A. Tiny submitted by /u/StockInitial4460
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdyb70/q_what_do_you_call_people_who_sleep_in_socks/
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdxpih/the_dumbest_kid_in_the_world/
A man goes in a shop and buys his usual package of cigarettes. Pays for it and goes out. After just a couple of minutes he gets back in the shop, worried. Putting the package of cigarettes on the...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdwupz/a_package_of_cigarettes_please/
“Stop shaking the ladder, you little shit!” submitted by /u/edfitz83
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdvb0l/ill_always_remember_my_dads_last_words_before_he/
to stop singing songs from the Monkees, I thought she was joking, but then i saw her face. submitted by /u/ereyes7089
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdqd8y/my_wife_asked_me/
An Irishman walks into a pub in Galway. “Bartender,” he says, “pour a whiskey and a pint for me. And pour a whiskey and a pint for my brother in America.” And so it goes, every round, n...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdpmec/a_brother_in_america/
Saturday. submitted by /u/joshak3
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdou8n/what_does_everyone_love_even_though_theres_a_turd/
He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!" submitted by /u/Flaky_Door
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdnfuv/a_physicist_sees_a_young_man_about_to_jump_off/
Sam and Dave are working as airplane refuellers on LA Airport. One late Friday afternoon, Dave receives a call from their manager: "Hey Dave, we just got a delivery of some new, experimental jet ...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdmrjq/airplane_refuel/
The man, not wanting to have to climb down and up the ladder again, yelled back, "What's the matter, sir?" The old man replied, "Just get down here first!" The man thought for a second, and bei...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdkjj9/a_man_was_mending_his_roof_when_suddenly_an/
I’m on season 6 but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security. submitted by /u/zelgadiss44
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdkfzs/boss_told_me_that_as_a_security_guard_its_my_job/
Now..I want to break three. submitted by /u/porichoygupto
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdil3r/i_accidentally_broke_two_of_my_freddie_mercury/
A man goes on an extended vacation and leaves his cat with his brother for safe-keeping. When he arrives at his destination and settles in, he gives his brother a call and asks: "how's the cat?" ...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdi7ms/cat_on_the_roof/
I went to a costume party and the host immediately started to pick on me. "What's your costume?" he asked. "A harp." "You're too small to be a harp," he told me. I was indignant. "Are you...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cddf4r/costume_party/
I said, look, you smart-ass, how am I supposed to know what time it is without a battery for my watch? submitted by /u/hoosyourdaddyo
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cddayx/i_went_to_the_clock_repair_kiosk_at_the_mall/
The King (drunk as shit): "LET THE HORSES TRY" submitted by /u/Doctor__Hammer
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdbi38/the_kings_men_your_majesty_we_did_everything_we/
“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” “What have you done?” asks the priest? “I have sinned by being vain. Every morning I look in the mirror and think to myself, I am such a beau...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdbfgt/a_young_woman_goes_to_confess_her_sins/
A few days later, she goes back to him and tells him that the closet shakes when the train passes by her house. The carpenter goes to her house and sees there’s nothing wrong with the closet bu...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cdb2er/woman_goes_to_a_carpenter_and_asks_for_a_closet/
...and the friend takes his towel off to get dressed. The friend greets him and goes about the usual small talk. The first man stops him and says, "Sorry I'm going to have to stop you. I'm so sor...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cda2sw/a_man_is_dressing_at_his_gym_when_his_friend/
After an hour, the baker steps outside and shouts "no bread for Jews!", and some people leave. After another hour, the baker steps outside again: "no bread unless you're a Party member!", and s...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1cd8nab/moscow_on_a_bitterly_cold_winter_morning_there_is/
He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees on...
https://np.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1ccyfxi/a_guy_goes_to_a_house_of_prostitution_he_selects/