In February 2016, it’ll be four years since I’ve joined Tumblr. I
remember when I decided to make this account as a little girl, who
found her escape here when her real life was falling apart. A girl who
found support and hope within books and movies, something that isn’t
always understood outside of this site. Especially The Hunger Games
played a very important part in my life. For nearly four years I’ve
been here, staying up way past midnight on a school night just so I
could see the trailers live, watch the photos from the premieres,
laugh at relatable text posts about the fandom’s mutual frustrations
over shows lying about releasing trailers. Thousands of gifsets and
stills I’ve reblogged. I’ve made my own edits, that were horrible
at first but that caused me to be even more proud once I figured
photoshop out and they actually gained some notes. The franchise means
a lot to me, so much is for sure. I sticked to the very, bitter end.
It was painful to say goodbye to characters that meant so much to me,
especially after growing even more attached to them through fanfics
and roleplay. It all taught me so much and even though it’s hard to
say goodbye, I’ve gotten some things in return. Thanks to thg,
I’ve met some of my best friends who I’m still so close with and
thankful for to this day. They helped me through a lot, and so did the
Hunger Games. I must say I was less enthusiastic for mj2, simply
because I couldn’t handle knowing it would all come to an end, with
my favorite character dying in the most horrible way. I went to a thg
marathon and watched all the movies for hours on end for the last
time, which probably wasn’t a good idea as I was already halfway
through having a mental breakdown before actually seeing mj2. When I
did finally see it, I was pretty devastated. I started sobbing in the
cinema as soon as they went down in the sewers, and barely even saw
“the scene” through my tears. But it’s okay. Yes, they mean a
lot to me and taught me a lot, and I care about them so much, but the
characters aren’t real. It’s time to let go now. Let go of the
pain, whilst still remembering the good times and all the happiness
thg has offered me. I wish I could stick around to contribute to the
community, reblog the edits,.. But I can’t. I need to think about
myself now. After four years, I need to let this go and focus on my
life. It was a nice distraction but I found myself so involved that it
was stressing me out even more. Yeah, seeing mj2 was hard and dealing
with it even harder, but I’ll be alright. I was pretty clueless as
to what to do with this blog. Other fandoms? Pretty hipster stuff?
Maybe I can post my art I’m practising? But in all honesty, Tumblr
changed a lot and it doesn’t feel like a safe home anymore (see:
feminists and sjw) However, I’ve decided to actually leave it up
behind this page, but I won’t return anymore (at least, I hope I
won’t). If perhaps for the future me who wants to look into what
played such a big part and remained a constant in very wobbly and
shifting years, this blog will stay right here. Just like all my thg
merch I’ve collected and got so excited over, I’m keeping it
stored and safe. All the posts that survived my last big clean up, all
the sobbing and drooling in the /tagged/babe section of my blog.
Everything that shaped me to who I am today though I’m still
changed, everything that kept me slightly more sane. This is goodbye,
hopefully forever because no matter how painful this is, it’s for
the best. Thank you, all of you, for all the wonderful years I got to
spend here. Love, Ina.
