the pain is much more than physical, beyond belief
I was not Ice. I wish I could have been. Cold, hard, reserved,
distant, unmoved. I was Fire. A blazing fire burning to give itself,
to offer light and warmth, love and devotion. Once it was rejected
though, this fire burned me completely from the inside until I became
darkness and ashes. No Phoenix will rise from this agony. I was Fire.
I am not.