You Look Nice Today

Our work was done. We'd said all we needed to say. We apparated from this world, much like monks who retreat to a mountaintop hovel. Only for us, we apparated via Greyhound and hoveled in an aban...

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Whether you like baseball, chicken dinners, multilevel marketing, or The Price is Right, we offer several varietals of bespoke juices you can enjoy with your family for generations.

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Welcome to the You Look Nice Today® Scat Immersion Program™. No dogs, babies, or squares allowed. In preparation for your first day on campus, please learn these key phrases, as they repre...

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As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical...

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Welcome to the global premiere of the INTERNATIONAL YOU LOOK NICE TODAY CONFERENCE & EXPO™! Get ready for an EPIC SHOWCASE of big-idea IDEATIONS and tactical TACTICS to be held in the picture...

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Listen. It’s actually very simple. When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today “Inverted Triangle Program™” you enter a world of theoretically unlimited income. Recruit two friends, as...

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ATTENTION! POOL RULES! Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15. Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool. This is a “Body Shame Free” zone. You must keep your eyes closed a...

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TO: Paul Polman, CEO Unilever PLC London, United Kingdom Dear Mr. Polman, I hope you can help me. You are in charge of a massive, multinational food and detergent company. So I understand...

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Hello, my friend! Welcome to my humble automobile dealership! Ah, yes. Very nice. I see you eyeing our all new 2013 Toyota Scimitar with optional Sports Package and Premium Ground Effects. This...

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THIEVING THREESOME NABBED (California) Three men were detained and arrested at a local Target today, charged with the attempted theft of over $400 in merchandise. The men refused to identify th...

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https://assets.fireside.fm/file/fireside-images/podcasts/images/5/5b98cd23-82a1-456c-8b79-5a6f36ecd015/episodes/b/b4c472d3-440f-4b45-9c84-3b745acc94e1/header_small.jpg?ver=1 Welcome to DRUTHERS...

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The Stenciled Approach | You Look Nice Today on Huffduffer Summer’s right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear! First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted...

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We don’t know anyone who loves sushi more than we do. That’s because when we meet someone who loves sushi, we stop talking to them forever. Because we want to be the biggest sushi lovers we k...

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https://files.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads/images/5/5b98cd23-82a1-456c-8b79-5a6f36ecd015/aENk1CS_.jpg Unpeeling the gunt, extending the brand, and rendering a sidekick polyhedron that real...

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“Baby City” Trad., to the tune of “Tabula Rasa” by Arvo Pärt > Babies are special >  babies are tough >  babies have smooth skin >  NE-VER rough!  >  >  Have you b...

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We went, with some friends, into the woods. A few days later we left the woods. Our memory of the time we spent in the woods is a bit fuzzy; fortunately, someone thought to make an audio recordin...

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Bankruptcy Liquidation Auction Beginning @ 9:00 AM-85 Herston Rd. Long Beach, CA Feb 8, 2010 Registration 7:30-10:00 A.M. Auction With Reserve Will Be Conducted By: Leroy D. Plaavs, III, ...

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Subject: #1228743 “Mann” Application Date: September 4, 1980 Subject has submitted a new application to the Coolness Review Board. Note that this is Subject’s 12th separate application t...

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https://files.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads/images/5/5b98cd23-82a1-456c-8b79-5a6f36ecd015/3RKsN4UA.jpg Hop in our decommissioned World War II tank that has been outfitted to look like the L...

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While under the influence of y, we reveal that: Merlin once put x in an envelope. Scott hoped another guy’s x would draw attention away from his own -(x). Adam = 2x. If y = “tequila,” sol...

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You’re gonna love it—the guitar does this “Wheeee!” thing while the drums go all “Chukka chukka booda booda.” OK, here it comes. Shhhh! No wait, that’s not it. Almost there, just ...

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SEATTLE LIVE!: APRIL 23, 2009 We teamed up with our pals Jordan, Jesse, Go! and took the Monsters of Podcasting on the road. Our PACIFIC NORTHWEST MEGATOUR kicked off in Seattle on Thursday an...

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INT. DINGY POLICE CAPTAIN’S OFFICE IN THE 80’S - NIGHT The chair behind the captain’s desk is empty. Two men sit, smoking, in folding chairs facing the desk. CABINTIRE (Adam Lisagor) rela...

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Making college affordable, restful, and culturally relevant; the cupping comforts of secondary scholarship; Adam becomes a costumed mascot and buys a new koch; how many greeting cards does it tak...

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Merlin: Boy Scout Scott: Boy Scout Adam: YMCA Indian Guide

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Listen as we conduct our exclusive pro gift-giving super-session TED Talk master class webinar. Over $600 in essential GiftWisdom™ is yours for FREE. Topics include, but are not limited to: Vir...

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1930’s wandering troubadour Trinket Pills (? - 1939) scored a brief hit on the Wichita charts with his plaintive Ballad of Joey Nickelpuss: > Th’ evil alley boys taunted him, >  But...

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If “penultimate” meant “last,” this would be the penultimate episode of our VSOP series. Thanks again to John Hodgman , Jonathan Coulton , and the sturdy padlocks on the studio doors that...

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YLNT VSOP, Part II! The drugs* have kicked in, and we have reached cruising altitude. Stay tuned for the final, gripping conclusion to the VSOP series next week. Or so. A partial list of works ...

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It’s YLNT VSOP, Part I! We convened a special session in San Francisco, featuring guests John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton . Aided by Hodgman’s expertise and Coulton’s hatred of poetry, we...

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Thousands* of you wrote to us asking for Election Day guidance. Sadly, we don’t have time to evaluate every candidate in every race. Instead, we commissioned the handy YLNT VOTER’S GUIDE you�...

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FIRST: Nose harmony, quarters, who’s Capote now?, “He plays you better than you play you,” layers of latex, latchkey ontologies, start shooting your stock scenes now, one water ski or two...

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You’ve just hopped on the #17 Express and must quickly decide where to sit. In the back of the bus, four teenagers have staked their claim to a dozen seats. An old woman sits next to an open, d...

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Now* accepting applications for the Class of 2016! Sample from our wide range of available courses, including Sociology 102: Shaving, Chemistry 206: Principles of Muskmaking, and Techniques in Si...

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The parenting of negligence, things you didn’t know about gas stations, ancient aphorisms, tethered to a key, you go in and stay there until you have wisdom, They’ve Got It!, blue sky pie in ...

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Sandwich smiles into the mouthpiece, teenage telemarketing salad days, LonelyWear’s autumn line, the secret of our success (at Macy’s), ham symphony, Karl gets fired from the Geek Squad, acqu...

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We’re back from summer break full of something and something. Expect weekly episodes until it’s time for fall break. Or early September break. Break! Pilaf games, the myth of women and comp...

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Down and out in Улаанбаатар (sorry, Mongolia!), remembrance of fights past, rampant on a field of Wheat Chex, stickin’ with the quadrupeds, Adam’s almost assaulted, don’t flog De...

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Sit back, relax, mix yourself an Aunt Nancy but don’t cross the swords. We’re coloncasting over at bandaid1995.com. ¿Esto debería estar en el recipiente de correo? Body (Not) Movin’.

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Unhealthy ligatures, a course of Prednisone, “I’m not following you!”, obscure chess moves, smoking for the cure, misused orifices, we pass as nosies, Karl Van Hœt.

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Recorded live at the Dark Room Theater in San Francisco. Don’t miss lots of great photos from the event. Desperate for funds, we explore opening a restaurant. Along the way, Sandwich cries i...

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Parental interference and other awkwardtunities, pie vs invisibilty, how Adam will die, Tuesdays with Tom Waits, Wisdom Experience guaranteed, another factory closes (bagpipe soundtrack).

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How do your socks feel about it?, a new kind of retail experience, Sandwich knows his Douglas Firs, Farewell to Tight (actually The Sun Also Tights), white shoes, Los Altos Rancho Vista Wi’z, d...

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So sorry!, the oxygen lobby, doin’ the Skokie, Wallet-on-Chain is not a town in England, Sean Connery is Japanese, What’s your latte name?, pre-disposable feminine hygiene, @EffingBoring get...

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Doing the fishstick, Sacks-Minnelli Disease, on the logical possibility of a cool fannypack, who’s your frelative?, “A Touch of Asperger’s”, social pressure at work (show your support for...

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Sheriff’s got a posse, Clarence the barber (and his balls), the benenemafits of a Fleet-based regimen, the grapefruit and bacon diet, Neti pots and other 100% legitimate remedies.

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Jamón y jabón, computerized career counseling, nicaragua@nicaragua.nicaragua, Sandwich does the Boogie Oogie, skating to college, Checkin’ Out!, Angus Young-brand smelling salts.

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On Being Boring, crazy meat, Merlin knows how to build a team, Lonely Spacecamp, Clooney trumps Hill but both beat you, Encounters with Celebrity, nickel bags of chocolate, a fowl deposition, the...

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"Oh my God: you GUYS!"; Scott sports vomit; Merlin raises a Predator; Scott has a hair theory about ladies who sing; Merlin calls for a National Day of Goatee Reconsideration; Adam moves into the...

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Sign up for SNARE!, Ol’ Grandpa Mann’s Phlegmatic/Bucolic Humour Balancing Apparatus, the magical beards of junior high, receiving pleasure for money, The Nerdiest Photographs in the World.

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Merlin looks for cashews, Allan Holdsworth saves a kitten, Scott licks shiny faces, “arrested developments” in Adam’s pants, Elvis gives away trailers like they were moon pies, Scott plugs ...

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Cosby takes the Queen to a dunk tank, office resources sparingly allocated, sponsors intimidated. Assorted loofah-related incidents.

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