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- Feed Preview The Daily MashPolitics – The Daily Mash
Sunak to invade Scotland for easy win
It's news to us
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/sunak-to-invade-scotland-for-easy-win-20240429247353
Pissing on a picture of Thatcher: the initiation ceremony for Tories defecting to Labour
SO many Tories have defected to Labour over the years they have an initiation ritual modelled on the Hell’s Angels. This is what Dr Dan Poulter will have to endure.
Who needs opposition? The SNP show how to f**k it up all on your own
WHO needs a functioning opposition to f**k up a decade in government? Not the SNP! They’ve proved you can do it effectively and stylishly all on your own.
Scotland to give up
It's news to us
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/scotland-to-give-up-20240426247318
How to be a strong leader everybody loves: Sunak’s guide for Yousaf
HUMZA, buddy, I’ve just seen the news. Bad luck, mate. Not everyone can be universally adored like me. Want to know how I do it? I’ll let you into a few secrets.
Humza Yousaf waiting for teachable spider moment
It's news to us
Labour confirms they will do the bleeding obvious
LABOUR’S rail nationalisation plans have confirmed they are a party unafraid to do the entirely obvious thing if they feel it benefits Britain.
We ask you: will your children join Shapps and Sunak’s fighting men?
RISHI Sunak is increasing defence spending and preparing for war. Would you send your children to battle under his indefatigable command?
Sunak waits to see if Britain is that stupid
THE prime minister is eagerly awaiting opinion polls that will reveal whether Britain really is as cretinous as he hopes.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/sunak-waits-to-see-if-britain-is-that-stupid-20240423247180
Nothing but the courts, the opposition, the cost and a general election can stop me now, laughs power-mad Sunak
THE prime minister, drunk on power, has proudly declared that nothing except several very real hurdles now stand in the way of the Rwanda bill.
Power to hand out sick notes to be given to specially appointed bastards
THE government is to take the issuing of sick notes from GPs and hand it to a panel of specially selected sadistic bastards.
Seven crimes Angela Rayner could have committed in this ordinary kitchen: A Daily Mail investigation
THIS kitchen – similar to one owned by Angela Rayner – may look harmless, but could easily have been used for a host of serious crimes. Forensic kitchen investigator Martin Bishop gives his v...
Can you guess the Tory MP by their blackmail sex scandal? A fun game for families
EVERYONE loves Conservative MPs and their propensity to stumble into hilarious sex outrages. Gather the family around and match the backbencher to their scandal!
We will give every child a pack of fags on their 15th birthday, says Labour
THE opposition has defied the government’s smoking ban by pledging to give every child a pack of 20 cigarettes on their 15th birthday.
Ten Years To Clear Up My F**king Mess: Liz Truss’s new book, rewritten by the electorate
49-DAY prime minister Liz Truss has released a new book detailing her plan to save the world. Britain has notes.
Rayner tax controversy: Labour deputy leader unable to resist bragging about her lucrative petty scams
It's news to us
‘Oh what, like you’ve never sent a hostile foreign power nudes?’ says Tory MP
CONSERVATIVE MP William Wragg has told people judging him for sending nudes to a foreign agent they have undoubtedly done the same or worse themselves.
New Year’s Eve, and five other times in 2024 that would be best for Sunak to call an election
COULD a cleverly chosen date for the election swing it for Rishi Sunak? It’s unlikely he’s got any other brilliant strategies, so here are some days he should keep in mind.
Scottish police to look like dicks either way
SCOTTISH police have confirmed they will look like big fascist knobs if they arrest JK Rowling and limp little willys if they do not.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/scottish-police-to-look-like-dicks-either-way-20240402246591
We ask you: when should Rishi Sunak get his arse kicked at a general election?
THE prime minister has been accused of chickening out of calling a general election by Labour. When should he go to the country and lose?