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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/sunak-to-invade-scotland-for-easy-win-20240429247353
SO many Tories have defected to Labour over the years they have an initiation ritual modelled on the Hell’s Angels. This is what Dr Dan Poulter will have to endure.
WHO needs a functioning opposition to f**k up a decade in government? Not the SNP! They’ve proved you can do it effectively and stylishly all on your own.
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https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/scotland-to-give-up-20240426247318
HUMZA, buddy, I’ve just seen the news. Bad luck, mate. Not everyone can be universally adored like me. Want to know how I do it? I’ll let you into a few secrets.
It's news to us
LABOUR’S rail nationalisation plans have confirmed they are a party unafraid to do the entirely obvious thing if they feel it benefits Britain.
RISHI Sunak is increasing defence spending and preparing for war. Would you send your children to battle under his indefatigable command?
THE prime minister is eagerly awaiting opinion polls that will reveal whether Britain really is as cretinous as he hopes.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/sunak-waits-to-see-if-britain-is-that-stupid-20240423247180
THE prime minister, drunk on power, has proudly declared that nothing except several very real hurdles now stand in the way of the Rwanda bill.
THE government is to take the issuing of sick notes from GPs and hand it to a panel of specially selected sadistic bastards.
THIS kitchen – similar to one owned by Angela Rayner – may look harmless, but could easily have been used for a host of serious crimes. Forensic kitchen investigator Martin Bishop gives his v...
EVERYONE loves Conservative MPs and their propensity to stumble into hilarious sex outrages. Gather the family around and match the backbencher to their scandal!
THE opposition has defied the government’s smoking ban by pledging to give every child a pack of 20 cigarettes on their 15th birthday.
49-DAY prime minister Liz Truss has released a new book detailing her plan to save the world. Britain has notes.
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CONSERVATIVE MP William Wragg has told people judging him for sending nudes to a foreign agent they have undoubtedly done the same or worse themselves.
COULD a cleverly chosen date for the election swing it for Rishi Sunak? It’s unlikely he’s got any other brilliant strategies, so here are some days he should keep in mind.
SCOTTISH police have confirmed they will look like big fascist knobs if they arrest JK Rowling and limp little willys if they do not.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/scottish-police-to-look-like-dicks-either-way-20240402246591
THE prime minister has been accused of chickening out of calling a general election by Labour. When should he go to the country and lose?