Back when I was writing press releases for the University of Florida, I had a professor turn the tables and start asking me questions. He wanted to know what newspaper I read. I told him the St....
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2018/05/read-and-burn_25.html
I was in the back of a city car being driven to a drug test. This was my third time getting tested in about a year. This meant that instead of doing my job, I was being taken to a building to p...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2017/10/free-speech-for-dumb.html
Were your parents too cheap to buy you a Shogun Warrior when you were a kid? Did they not love you enough to shell out for a complete set of Strawberry Shortcake dolls? You're a grown-up now - he...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2017/06/reading-rainbow.html
I don't know how many of you have been on online dating sites, but on one of the big ones the final question is, "I spend a lot of time thinking about..." I don't remember what my answer was fo...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2017/05/the-best-of-bread.html
Was there ever a youth movement that demanded as much out of its fans than the American punk/hardcore scene? Sure, you could just go to the shows and buy the records or whatever, but there was an...
Remember that fable about the grasshopper and the ant? You know, there's a fun-loving grasshopper and an industrious ant. The ant gathers his ...wheat or whatever it is that ants store up for the...
Here's another Fest story halfway shrouded in booze and memory. I was headed back to my room at the Hampton Inn the second night of Fest. As a middle aged man who had spent the day drinking and...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/12/ball-and-biscuit.html
I went to Fest again this year. It was awesome. For those who don't know, Fest is a yearly celebration of punk rock and ugly beards in Gainesivlle, Florida. It's also a Gainesville family reunion...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/12/theres-something-wrong-with-my-toast-or.html
In college, my friend Curt lived in a shack. Well, not the whole time, just his last summer in Tallahassee. And it wasn't really a shack, more like an old warehouse. It actually used to be a pu...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/09/life-on-other-planets.html
Longtime readers of my foolishness might remember this story, I first published it back in the ancient days of Myspace, but I have recently unearthed new information which begged for an updated v...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/08/skeleton-dance-or-stories-i-like-yet-am.html
"Looks like we got the Honeymoon Suite," said my co-worker. "You're crazy," I replied. "It's just a nice hotel." "Did you see the bathroom? It's see-through." "First of all, that's a bad ph...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/07/the-man-with-x-ray-eyes.html
We were somewhere near Daytona on the edge of the ocean when the '70s soft rock began to take hold. My friend Todd and I were driving to Jacksonville after another big Orlando/Gainesville meetu...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/06/comedy-classics.html
Years ago I received some advice from a wise old Native American. I had just moved back to Gainesville after spending a year in Atlanta delivering food and felt that I had basically wasted a year...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/06/return-to-sea.html
I'm not the greatest mathematician. If you've ever watched me try to calculate a tip or figure out how much longer a movie lasts, you'll soon realize that I'm basically functionally retarded when...
"Man, I just can't believe it." The words came from the guy sitting next to me in study hall. They were punctuated with a heavy theatrical sigh. Let's call the speaker Steve. I sat there tr...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/03/pants-on-fire.html
Bradenton, at least my little corner of it, was a strange place to grow up in. When my parents first moved there, there weren't many kids in our neighborhood for my sister and I to play with. The...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2016/01/old-follks-at-home.html
Nobody gives much thought to Santa's elves. Santa and his reindeer get all the love and recognition while his elven workers tirelessly churn out toys for ungrateful little kids day after day up a...
My dad's funeral was on a Saturday. I left work early the previous Monday when I got the phone call and spent the rest of the week in a daze. I obviously knew he was gone, but it didn't seem alto...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/10/aunt-marys-all-alone.html
I'm always astounded when what I think are simple, universal experiences are anything but. I mean, yeah, I realize that some things, like your parents hiding ancient Indian skulls in your closet ...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/09/spanks-spanks-lot.html
For a fundamentally lazy person, I've always gotten along fairly well in the working world. My first real job was bagging groceries, and I soon found that not only was it less work than I would b...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/08/welcome-to-working-week.html
Once again circumstances have forced me to break my "funny posts only" here on the old blog. My dad died suddenly about a month after my grandma died. Well, it was sudden to my sister and I; my m...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/08/you-were-my-dad-you-were-so-rad.html
I was in the back of an ambulance as a Florida State fan/paramedic tried to convince me that Bobby Bowden was the greatest college football coach ever. My theories, that Bowden was a secret Kla...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/07/sheer-heart-attack.html
I don't post much serious, sincere stuff on the internet whether here or on Facebook. People have enough problems, and I'd rather go for the funny than bum strangers out with whatever problems I'...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/05/grandma-adams.html
I was about 13 the first time I was sued. Actually, sued is a strong word. More like threatened to be sued. But when you're not even in high school and words like attorney, legal action and col...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/04/a-boy-named-sue.html
You never know what you're going to find at my parent's house. With their garage sale obsession and shall we say, offbeat tastes, it's like P.T. Barnum, the Addams Family, and the Smithsonian Ins...
http://thegoogoomuck.blogspot.com/2015/01/i-want-your-skull.html