King of Guilford News

The King's German cousin makes an entry into the mystery market. King's Cousin To Release Mystery Gunther G. Gonzo had never written a mystery before he moved to Guilford. "I based it on ...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2017/07/new-author-in-guilford.html

Forget psychologists and their waterboarding, sleep deprival, beatings and starvation. The U.S. Government should have contracted with Guilford to get information from enemies, according to the...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2009/05/torture-in-guilford-humane-and-healthy.html

Typical Guilford peasants love to pose for pictures, but it's best just to toss money at them and not stray too close. According to a radical newsletter The King Sucks, Guilford peasants...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2014/01/group-claims-guilford-peasants-are.html

This blue boner will get you attention in DC. How To Get A Politician To Listen To You Price Cut from 14.95 to 8.95 The King of Guilford knows what it's like to be scorned as a dirty peasan...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2018/11/how-to-get-politician-to-listen-to-you.html

It's Columbus Day. My post office is closed. Good for them. Columbus was one of my heroes. He is often considered on the same level as Hitler because he discovered America and the Indians ended ...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2008/10/columbus-day-weak-bladder-discovered.html

Some of the animals to look for in Mt. Airy after the Wednesday release. GNS News: April 4, Cincinnati: Cincinnati Zoo To Release Zoo Animals In Mt. Airy Forest Due to budget cuts cause...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2013/04/some-of-animals-to-look-for-in-mt.html

The Guilford Goose beheaded for being Christian. KING SET TO PROTECT DIRTY PEASANTS A MANHUNT IS UNDER WAY IN GUILFORD TO FIND THE TERRORISTS WHO BEHEADED THE SECOND GUILFORD GOOSE LOCATED...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2015/07/isis-attack-in-guilford.html

DORTHO THE ARTIST Dortho burst on to the scene last last week during a talent contest in Guilford. Some say it's Queen Dorothy, but others whisper than it's a dungeon peasant doing the ar...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2018/01/dortho-guilfords-next-artist-star-is.html

A Jimmy Carter quote was the inspiration for this inspirational poster of the late Lester Ray Goober. (A SPECIAL SECTION) PAST PRESIDENT QUOTES (FROM THE KING OF GUILFORD) The King of Gui...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2015/11/past-president-quotes-from-king-of.html

Dirty peasant Steve Krebble, the first Guilford Santa, couldn't handle children and took his own   way out rather than Guilford hanging. A Guilford trained peasant Santa may be workin...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2012/12/things-that-go-jingle.html

Simple, yet effective for imprinting gonads for cloud storage. NEW DUI TECHNOLOGY STARTS APRIL 1, 2018 The city of Cincinnati has approved new technology to help identify thousands of pos...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2014/06/new-guilford-id-technology-ball-prints.html

Adjust your own blinds and window size while taking a dump. THE GUILFORD WINDOW BLIND DO YOU HAVE A WINDOW IN YOUR SHITTER?  DON'T WASTE MONEY ON AN EXPENSIVE BLIND. FROM GUILFORD'S TH...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2017/08/new-from-things-that-wipe.html

Following the lead of federal and local governments of really jamming it to citizens under the guise that they are doing something good for them, the King of Guilford decided to level new taxes...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2009/03/new-guilford-taxes-for-april-1.html

The giant volcanic hole may erupt this year. Hollywood would be gone, but is that a bad thing? JOIN THE BIG ASBESTOS CORK PROJECT   During these times of stress over global warming (...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2017/06/the-yellowstone-giant-asbestos-cork.html

This experimental Guilford drone will be used to track and attack dirty peasants. KING OF GUILFORD SPIES ON PEASANTS The peasants in Guilford have been too quiet in the past few months, w...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2013/03/guilford-develops-drone-program.html

Watch out for this one. Keep your pants up, dirty peasants.

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2017/05/wantedrick-dick-tickthis.html

A typical job seminar in Guilford isn't very exciting since the pay is low and there are so many laws governing workers. (These peasants were hanged for falling asleep while the King was ex...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2012/03/guilfords-job-ready-peasants-seek.html

This picture could cause World War 3. RUSSIA READY TO ATTACK GUILFORD King Dennis of Guilford has finally found a way to get some foreign power to attack him. The United States won't do ...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2014/03/russia-to-invade-guilford-next.html

GUILFORD ENFORCES NEW DUI LAW Based on an Ohio law, and in a stunning reversal of the former Guilford law that required everyone to drive drunk, King Dennis of Guilford has ordered all peas...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-dui-law-in-guilford.html

Sandy makes this Stromboli from scratch using peasant labor. Sandy giving instructions for Sandy's Stromboli. The man at the far end works for the government in biological weapons. They ...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2017/02/stromboli-sandy-on-guilford-network.html

FAA RATES GUILFORD AIRLINES MOST DANGEROUS New proof recently discovered from a fatal TWA crash over rural Illinois years ago has led the FAA to change the cause of a crash from mechanical...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2009/11/flash-from-past-guilford-airlines.html

The King of of Guilford has long been known for his sheer genius approach to poetry. "I love poetry. I learned my craft on a thousand gas stations walls when I was too poor to own paper to ...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2017/02/king-writes-poem-for-peasants.html

Guilford Missile Launch The United States recently announced its nuclear arsenal is down to a little over 5000 weapons, a 75% cut since 1989. Since one modern warhead (nothing like the tin...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2010/05/guilford-cuts-nuclear-arsenal.html

THE PIGFARMUS SINUS CURE Startup companies have been a way of life for both peasants and royalty in Guilford, and most of the companies begin with THINGS THAT. Things That Fly, Things That S...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2010/07/fast-facts-from-guilford-culture.html

(THIS ARTICLE EXPLAINS WHY ALEX TREBEK NO LONGER HAS A MUSTACHE. HE IS TRYING TO DISGUISE HIMSELF IN CASE HE EVER SLIPS ACROSS THE BORDER INTO GUILFORD ON HIS WAY BACK TO CANADA. THERE IS A RUMO...

http://kingofguilford.blogspot.com/2010/01/king-takes-impossible-jeopardy-test.html