I've become my parents » Humor

  Hi folks. This post was originally published over 3 years ago when I’ve Become My Parents was still just a puppy and had about 18 subscribers. I was thinking about this post recently when my...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2014/07/21/son-its-time-we-talked-about-sports-again/

  Money. It’s useful stuff. Son, when you have money, the possibilities are endless. You can fold it into interesting shapes or stick it under a table leg to make it stable. You can roll it up...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2014/07/07/the-basics-of-money-management-sort-of/

  OK, so it’s been a little while since I last posted. I know what you’re thinking but I’m not dead. If I were, I’d have all the time in the world to write posts (in between breaking roc...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2014/06/24/im-not-dead-yet/

Well, happy Thanksgivnukah! This is one of those great years when Chanukah comes way before that other holiday. Why is that so great? Because Chanukah isn’t buried behind a bazillion lumens of ...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/11/29/and-may-all-your-fridays-be-black/

Hi there! I haven’t pulled out an old post in a while. This one goes way back–even before I started scratching out cartoons. It was originally posted on June 28, 2011. I had been digging arou...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/11/15/found-my-old-diary-and-it-turns-out-i-was-lame-then-too/

Well hello valued IBMP readers. The fine folks in IBMP’s Quality Assurance Division have been working tirelessly as part of our continuous effort to improve your reading experience. Unfortunat...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/11/11/an-important-message-from-the-makers-of-ive-become-my-parents/

Son, your amazing ability to want everything you see is equaled only by your tireless commitment to not expending any energy to get it. Go figure. I get it: you want a Bugatti. It looks cool and ...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/11/03/how-to-get-what-you-want-or-not/

When I was in 7th-grade, it seemed like there were only two kinds of kids: those that were miserable, and those that made them that way. Guess which one I was. Thirty-five years later, I get to r...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/10/09/dont-blame-me-puberty-wasnt-my-idea/

Hey, son, I think I’m in love with your friend. No, not like that. Well, kind of like that. Granted, she’s 12 and I’m just a wee bit older, but it’s not that kind of love so don’t give ...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/09/10/i-think-im-in-love/

I get it: you’re scared to sleep in that room. First of all, son, they aren’t dead pet bunnies; they’re dead pet bunnies’ ashes. And the boxes are totally sealed. How evil could the gho...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/07/29/beware-the-vengeful-squirrel/

Son, parents love to tell parents-to-be to get ready because everything changes when you have kids.  Well, duh.  Raise your hand if you thought you could bring a baby home from the hospital, se...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/07/14/6-things-that-are-different-when-your-child-goes-to-camp/

At 12 years-old, I was sitting in front of our black and white television trying to keep a little white blip from getting past a little white line. If I turned the knob to the right, my line went...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/06/23/how-to-play-minecraft-a-guided-tour/

Listen, son, let’s be clear about this: your job as my son is to make me feel better about myself by being the kid I wished I had been. You’re supposed to make up for all my youthful shortcom...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/06/09/just-tween-you-and-me/

Okay, son, most of this blog is about things you should know in order to avoid becoming your dad. Some of our newer readers are probably asking what’s so wrong with your dad. Nothing, really. I...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/05/26/parenting-a-burst-of-instant-gratification-and-a-lifetime-of-delayed-gratification/

What we have: What I wish we had: Dad, I don’t want to be thirteen. Why not? I don’t want to be a teenager. Really? I thought that’s what tweens looked forward to. I’m scared. Oh. Well, w...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/04/30/what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-to-be-a-teenager/

I wonder if it’s too late to have The Talk with my dad. We never really did have that talk, and I know he’s had sex at least 3 times, so it could be interesting to get his perspective on it a...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/04/14/the-sex-talk-version-2-0/

Son, you have the best parents ever. All the other parents are just mumbling under their breath, “I can’t wait until Billy has kids of his own, then he’ll understand. Then it’ll be paybac...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/04/03/making-sense-of-terrible-tween-logic/

You started by crashing your Hot Wheels but that wasn’t enough. You discovered Minecraft and quickly realized that you could build entire cities out of TNT and blow them up. That was cool, but ...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/03/21/please-dad-i-promise-i-wont-run-over-any-hookers/

It’s great to be back! If you’ve just joined us (thank you, by the way), the Editor in Chief, Executive Editor, Head Writer, Creative Director, Best Boy and the entire Pencil Sharpening Team ...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/03/04/when-did-dances-get-this-complicated/

…………… Hello, and thank you for contacting I’ve Become My Parents. We are not available to write a post right now. Your post-reading is important to us. Please stay on the blog and a p...

https://ivebecomemyparents.com/2013/02/11/while-im-away-a-puberty-post-from-the-past/