I should begin this week’s screed by emphasising the very serious implications of Covid-19. Our Prime Minister has decided that the best plan is to do nothing and let God sort us out. I have to...
https://arseblog.com/2020/03/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-210/
In the wake of some prime Arsenality on Thursday night I am afraid I somewhat overdid the pharmaceutical commiserations. I should have known better when Parpy Winthorne, Tickles McGinty, John, Pu...
https://arseblog.com/2020/02/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-209/
A slight departure this week, as we talk not of Arsenal, but of our most recent foe in this regrettably forgettable of seasons, Burnley Football Club. I present below the unheard history of this ...
https://arseblog.com/2020/02/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-208/
In what has turned into an eight month long pre-season campaign, we turn to the Football Association Cup for glimmers of hints of competitive progress under Mr. Arkwright, our young, prematurely ...
https://arseblog.com/2020/01/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-207/
Some stories are universal. There is a genre of modern ‘talkie’ filmmaking that has its origins in a much older story. Younger readers may well remember the modern 1960 motion picture The Mag...
https://arseblog.com/2020/01/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-the-screenplay/
As the sky begins to bruise, and the butler lights the lamps, I like to recline in my bath-chair and fondly recall the heady days of the late nineteenth century. A chap of means could pretty much...
https://arseblog.com/2020/01/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-206/
I hate Leeds. Do you hate Leeds? Do you, in fact, hate Leeds scum? Everyone does. Are you aware of the artistic expression of this noble and worthy sentiment set to song? To wit, a ditty which be...
https://arseblog.com/2020/01/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-205/
1 Now it came to pass that Wenger kept the Gooner flock of N5, the Goonerites, and he led the flock to the backside of the trophy desert, and came to the mountain of the three recent FA Cups. 2 A...
https://arseblog.com/2020/01/exodus-of-the-gooners-king-james-version/
I am now barely able to move. It is all I can do to dictate these words to the butler and his typewriter from my reclined position in my bath-chair. The buttons have all popped on my waistcoat. I...
https://arseblog.com/2019/12/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-204/
Has one ever enjoyed a West Ham result quite so much as the game last Monday evening? Yes, is the answer. The 2006 game against Tottenham Hotspur, when Spurs needed only to match our result on th...
https://arseblog.com/2019/12/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-202/
We shall draw a veil over last evening’s defeat agin the mighty Brighton and Hove Albion. Defeats like that are like when one has a very public contretemps with one’s spouse: Nobody’s reall...
https://arseblog.com/2019/12/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-201/
Ring every church bell in the land! O, joyous day! Release the doves! Close the school and open the public houses, for on this day we toast the wondrous departure of Mr. Emery and his brand of no...
https://arseblog.com/2019/11/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-200/
I am a great believer in apologising if one has made an honest mistake. I have made just such an honest error of late and am very pleased and grateful to Arsenal Football Club for illuminating my...
https://arseblog.com/2019/11/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-199/
We curse or bless our children with our choice of club. We pass our passion on to them like a genetic inheritance. I have a chum who is a fan of Doncaster Rovers. He has no qualms about the distr...
https://arseblog.com/2019/11/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-198/
Well that was a Septimama Horribilis. A horrible week. The worst week since the last time we had one of these weeks. How extraordinary that almost two years into the tenure of Mr. Emery we are st...
https://arseblog.com/2019/11/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-197/
Are you aware of the moving picture Withnail and I? A most bittersweet viewing experience, in technicolour, which tells the story of two pals, temporarily unemployed players on the stage. The tit...
https://arseblog.com/2019/10/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-195/
Hello there Sir, Madam. How nice to see you. Yes, this is the place. Welcome to the official Arsenal Mansions tour at London Colney. Arsenal Mansions is a fine Edwardian pile, 20 bedrooms, been i...
https://arseblog.com/2019/09/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-194/
Is there a team that oscillates more wildly than Woolwich Arsenal Football Club? From an incoherent, flailing mess who held on to a draw at BLOODY BUGGERING WATFORD despite having the league’s ...
https://arseblog.com/2019/09/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-193/
Felicitations and salutations, my brothers and sisters of the crimson chest and the snowy- white sleeves! I bid thee a fine new season, my comrades of Londinium, wherever you may be! Good morrow,...
https://arseblog.com/2019/08/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-192/
We have almost reached the end of the season, dear chums. We have our Azerbaijani Adventure to come of course but for now, the Good Ship Arsenal has docked safely back into port. I say safely; I ...
https://arseblog.com/2019/05/arsenal-gentlemans-weekly-review-191/