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WASHINGTON — Saying that he cannot work in an environment full of women who are merely competent in their jobs, President-elect Donald Trump has chosen Washington-area hottie Candy McKitten, 22...
http://dandygoat.com/trump-picks-candy-mckitten-as-secretary-of-office
Donald Trump, the nation’s recently ascended führerpreneur, has been holding victory rallies just like Adolph Hitler did in the 1930s, according to a friend who just last week watched the firs...
President-elect Donald Trump served up his latest Cabinet appointment on Monday, announcing he had chosen New Jersey governor Chris Christie to be secretary of steak. “Governor Christie, with h...
http://dandygoat.com/trump-names-chris-christie-as-secretary-of-steak
A language expert working for the Nathaniel Dubbles Institute has confirmed to the Dandy Goat that Russian president Vladimir Putin is responsible for a spate of so-called “fake advice pieces�...
http://dandygoat.com/expert-putins-fake-dear-abby-advice-swayed-u-s-elections
A manager for the American League baseball team that lost in the World Series earlier this month is demanding a recount to determine the real winner. “Sure, technically, the Chicago Cubs won fo...
http://dandygoat.com/losing-team-demanding-world-series-trophy-because-they-had-more-total-hits
The federal agency in charge of disaster assistance is setting up hundreds of emergency safe spaces around the country where residents traumatized by the presidential election outcome can find sa...
http://dandygoat.com/fema-setting-up-safe-spaces-in-areas-devastated-by-election
Registered members of the political party that wittingly chose an unconvicted felon as its presidential nominee are demanding to know how they managed to lose the race to a tacky reality TV star...
http://dandygoat.com/party-that-nominated-moody-crime-boss-baffled-why-campaign-failed
ALTOONA, Pa. — A longtime supporter of President-elect Donald Trump was said to have woken up from a post-victory slumber early Wednesday morning “extremely agitated” after realizing in a d...
http://dandygoat.com/trump-voter-struck-by-awful-realization-16-foot-ladder-taller-than-15-foot-wall
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is making a last-ditch effort to win the presidency by asking that it be granted to her as a dying wish. “Many of you have already guessed t...
http://dandygoat.com/im-dying-says-clinton-in-last-ditch-appeal