A COLLEAGUE 300 miles away in an entirely different part of Britain has expressed surprise that the weather is different there.
HUMANS are to continue to base their civilisation on a highly toxic substance destroying the climate that is largely controlled by lunatics.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/humanity-to-stick-with-oil-20240419247116
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BRITAIN’S water companies have spilled record amounts of raw sewage into our rivers and seas, proving the doubters wrong. How are you thanking them?
FOR 57 whole hours an entire junction of the M25 has closed. Why must London always be the one that suffers?
AN area of idyllic urban parkland has bloomed with spring’s first latex sign of illicit outdoor sex, it has emerged.
WHERE the f**k is Rutland? And who has ever heard of Denbighshire? You’ve never been to these places, so they must be made up.
MEN have pointed out that the six inches of snow due to fall on the country is much, much more than the national average.
STORM Jocelyn is failing to engage audiences after retreading scenes and plot points from its immediate predecessor.
THERE are few sights more majestic to behold than the humble trampoline swooping and soaring high overhead, Britain has agreed.
STORM Isha has devastated Britain. The whole country is under a weather alert and the public is on tornado watch. So, in all conscience, I cannot work.
OWNERS of costly German cars confident they can handle a mere two feet of floodwater have been encouraged to test their belief.
THE pine needles that have dropped from your Christmas tree have confirmed you will still be finding them buried in the carpet years from now.
A WOMAN is hoping it snows over Christmas so that her extended family will be unable to travel and visit her, it has emerged.
DELEGATES at COP28 have celebrated their decision to move away from fossil fuels by setting fire to an oil well, it has emerged.
A GUARDIAN reader is deeply troubled by the environmental impact of Santa’s annual round-the-world trips.
AN office worker has been forced to lazily send just two emails from home today due to Storm Ciarán.
STORM Ciarán is set to batter the UK, and as environment secretary I simply could not care less. Here’s my advice, but frankly it’s your problem so piss off.
THE concept of ‘15-minute cities’ is being given a new name to appeal to people with an insufferably rose-tinted view of the past.
BRITAIN’S water suppliers have explained their request for £96 billion to stop pumping shit into waterways is entirely legal and legitimate.