Returned Scot

There’s one man from whom I’m having terrible trouble keeping away. I hadn’t realized this until last year, but the more I write, the more this man crops up. At Hogmanay, his image is espe...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2011/01/unspeakably-scots-thing-for-auld-lang.html

Just when we thought the snow had cancelled too much excitement this festive season, the moon and the sun conspired to give us one of the greatest shows on Earth...a total lunar eclipse at the W...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/12/unspeakably-scots-thing-giftie-gie-us.html

As I scoff a frosted mince pie or three, topped with pointy stars, I’m wondering what it is, precisely, that marks the start of Christmas for you. Even if you are a Bah-Humbug sort of a guy, t...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/12/unspeakably-scots-thing-starting-whole.html

Snow makes people do peculiar things...things they would not normally choose to do. Whether it’s clearing a neighbour’s driveway, attacking the pavement with an axe to break up compacted ice...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/12/unspeakably-scots-thing-common-weel.html

I’ve been eyeing up the blackthorn hedge, just in case I need to chop a bit off for the creation of a new magic wand. You never know if one of us might suddenly require one, but the blackthorn...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/12/unspeakably-scots-thing-pottering-aboot.html

A friend of mine, a 47 year-old man, emailed earlier this week to say how very, very, VERY excited he was about opening the first window of his advent calendar in the morning. Naturally I assume...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/12/unspeakably-scots-thing-comfort-food.html

Having wittered on about the town of St Andrews recently, I now find that St Andrews Day, a moment when we remember Scotland’s patron saint, is almost upon us. So how will we be celebrating th...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/11/unspeakably-scots-thing-being-happy.html

Every time my eyebrows are raised at the state of our nation’s, or anyone else’s, financial affairs, I can’t help remembering James Carville’s quote (he being Clinton’s campaign manage...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/11/unspeakably-scots-thing-considering.html

Well now, there’s to be a royal wedding and all because of a certain university that lurks within the East Neuk of Fife. Heavens, this is going to make me horribly, disgracefully, nostalgic. ...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/11/unspeakably-scots-thing-romantic.html

Imagine you are one of 25 men, not necessarily in the first flush of youth, but none-the-less content to spend a considerable part of every Wednesday evening singing just two notes with these ly...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/11/unspeakably-scots-thing-singing.html

This is the first time in four years that I have been in Scotland for Armistice Day, and indeed for Remembrance Sunday. The last three were all marked in Norway. We stood on frosty, hard grou...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/11/unspeakably-scots-thing-remembrance.html

What do you do with a roomful of Norwegians? This is not a joke, tempting though it may be to come up with a few witticisms. No, this is a true story. The answer? Ask them a searching question a...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/11/unspeakably-scots-thing-counting.html

I’ve been thinking. A rare occurrence, I know, but it’s the imminent changes to Scottish education that’s doing it. You will recall the sport of Norwegian rock-based-sea-gazing that I h...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/10/unspeakably-scots-thing-thinking.html

I apologize for the slight break in attendance here. I was obliged to pay homage to the North East of Scotland tradition of ‘tattie howkin’, otherwise known as a ‘break in the school term ...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/10/unspeakably-scots-thing-stormy-reading.html

I presume you have been watching ‘Spooks’ on the BBC. If not WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? There’s nothing quite like getting your teeth into a decent TV thriller on a Monday night...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/10/unspeakably-scots-thing-cultural-notes.html

The smell, the colour, the taste, the atmosphere...all of them need to be just so for the connoisseur to fully appreciate the ‘amber bead’, Robert Burns’s term for Scotland’s most famous...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/10/unspeakably-scots-thing-amber-bead.html

Today marks the start of the Ryder Cup, which gives me the perfect excuse to mention one of Scotland's great inventions....the game of golf. As you will know, the Ryder Cup, which this year i...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-golf.html

We're sitting in Children's Accident and Emergency with a broken finger which is still, just, attached to a traumatised child, albeit at a slightly jaunty angle. There are four of us trying to s...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-mask-of-knowing.html

A 'fine piece' helps the world go around. It's just a fact. Anyone acquainted with the North East of Scotland will know very well that a 'fine piece' is a treat, a little of what you fancy, n...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-fine-piece.html

If someone offers you a 'boatle a' soup' in Glasgow, you would be wise to decline politely. You could end up 'blootered', if not 'heavily bongoed'. The lingo may be splendid, but the habit is no...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-meeting-needs.html

I was required to go out and purchase a chanter for a certain acquaintance of mine. You will know, of course, the significance of a chanter....in Scotland, a 'chanter' is either a person who sin...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-skirl-o-pipes.html

'Hey, don't diss me, Mum.' 'If I had the slightest idea what that meant, I probably wouldn't 'diss' you, but if you'd take your elbows off the table and speak English, I wouldn't have to c...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-seeking.html

70 years ago tonight, The Blitz started over London, the horrifying bombing raid carried out by Germany's Luftwaffe that went on from September 1940 to May 1941.Hitler's aim, apart from destr...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-spirit-of-hte.html

Will you or won't you? Should you or shouldn't you? Could you or couldn't you? Or maybe you've already gone and done it. Bought the book, I mean. And read it. That one just published, you kno...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-urge-to-record.html

'D'ye fancy a Glesga' Salad?' asked the Glaswegian waiter. 'Fit's a Glasgow Salad,' replied the confused, but hungry, Aberdonian. 'Och, it's a big poke o' chips wi' two pickled onions on th...

http://returningscot.blogspot.com/2010/09/unspeakably-scots-thing-lets-do-lunch.html