DO you like hard men a little too much? Never confusing the Spetsnaz, the SAS or US Navy SEALs? Has your interest in elite military units blossomed into something more?
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/are-you-gay-for-special-forces-20240131245016
PARANOID lunatics are finding support for Hamas in the most innocuous places, like a totally unconnected M&S Christmas ad. If you’re mental, watch out for these things.
TOO many people just jump in with their ill-informed opinions about the Gaza conflict. Not me. Here’s how to discuss this complex issue in a way that won’t cause offence.
ISRAEL has admitted it is unable to commit forces against Hamas because the BBC refuses to call them terrorists.
CAPTAIN Tom’s daughter has confirmed that veterans like him fought in World War 2 so future generations could have a luxury spa and swimming pool complex.
PRESIDENT Zelensky’s trip to London included a visit to the flagship Warhammer store where he was allowed to take whatever he wanted.
THE President of Ukraine is visiting the UK for a harrowing tour of what happens when a country gives up fighting.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/zelensky-visits-frontline-of-uk-20230208231372
PUTIN’S threats to unleash Armageddon don’t scare me, because nuclear war is actually very easy to survive. Here I, Wayne Hayes, pub regular and twat, explain how.
BRITONS are well-prepared to survive a nuclear strike by Russia thanks to watching a vast number of dubious post-apocalyptic films. Here’s what we’ve learned.
BORIS Johnson is trying to persuade Vladimir Putin to keep the invasion of Ukraine ticking over for the rest of spring and perhaps summer.
WITH his questionable threats to cut off the West’s gas supplies, Vladimir Putin seems determined to be a really shit Bond villain. Here the Russian president sets out his other not-so-diabolic...
THREE prime ministers, none of whom are leading-from-the-front Boris Johnson, have met President Zelensky in Kyiv. What’s his excuse?
A BRITISH man who had always thought of the Blitz as a wonderful time that brought Britons together has confessed that footage of Ukraine has made him think again.
VOLUNTEERS from across Europe are travelling to Ukraine to battle the Russian army. Obviously you’d love to but you can’t, because:
ALL armed conflicts are horrific but this one is a bit worse because it has the added misery of memes, historians have confirmed.
HISTORY has confirmed that it decided to do the whole pandemic before the world war rather than after this time, to mix things up a bit.
TWO conflicts are dominating headlines: Russia’s and the Ukraine and Colleen Rooney’s against Rebekah Vardy. Which do you honestly give more of a shit about?
President Biden has declared war on Texas, vowing to remove its regime of medieval tyranny.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/america-to-invade-texas-20210903211716
IMAGINE fleeing your home in terror, not knowing if you’ll see your loved ones again. But also imagine a load of foreigners living next door, speaking funny and cooking smelly food.
THE city of Newcastle has assembled an army to march north and annexe Edinburgh while it is dukeless and defenceless.