Does anyone know if this was posted anywhere else after it was deleted?
WHAT'S IN THE POST WHAT'S IN THE FUCKING POST
PM this to me too please!
Because I've got a golden ticket! The death knell cracked in a tinny smash as the lugubrious stock were herded to the surface elevator. We were led from our lounge-and-liqueur lives in the vaul...
Available on /r/leoduhvinci , about half down the page.
Hi- it is available in /r/leoduhvinci , and is the only prompt about Korea so it is easy to find.
> It was a two-year hitch, going topside. So is he going to come back to the country after escaping?
**** This is the deleted comment **** "We've got a problem!" I yelled in the crowded control room as my screen flickered red. Behind me, the lead nuclear engineer appeared, staring over my sh...
Full story is posted on /r/leoduhvinci . Its on the first page, and should be pretty easy to find. Thanks!
I'd take a pm please.
Hey! Just click on /r/leoduhvinci , and it's on the first page. Can't miss it.
Can i get the PM as well please? Genuinely curious. :)
Because.. north korea?
Why was it deleted?
Decent but Kai isn't a Korean name.
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today is D+25943
Thanks a lot!
The premise was that if they maintain an image above ground that makes people stay away from it, nobody will go into the country and it will stay secret. I get the sense that this reply is pointl...
Due to popular request, I reposted it on my sub. /r/leoduhvinci
Sorry to keep this pattern to but I'm a fan of your writing. Would you mind sending it my way too?
Leo! Pls PM the story to me! The point of writing to get better, and I thought that this story was very good anyway. :| I wish you could undelete it.
Oh, no need to delete it though, apparently people loved it. However it's your work, your choice. Thank you for pm'ing it to me :)
Didn't think this one through, did you? Because the best way to preserve the secret of the utopia's existence is to draw attention to its above-ground disguise by being the controversial, headl...
I felt like this was not up to par with my regular work. I'll PM it to you.
Why did you delete this, I wanted to read it after my friend referred me to it ;_;
Hi, Why'd you delete this? This looks to be the top post
I like the idea of SK being part of the farce. Now the question is, why? Well, suppose NK looks like a militaristic shithole to keep foreigners out. Of course, the downside is that foreigners m...
Naw, the 5% figure ("Natural Rate of Unemployment") is country-dependent, and is determined by: How long it takes someone to find a job The degree of skill mismatch between what workers have ...
This is the last time that anyone is going to be sent up to the surface because there is going to be an "energy war". I am assuming this is a nuclear war that will destroy all human life on the s...
I chose to use a weird name for him instead of making up something that sounded vaguely Korean. I don't know enough Koreans to come up with a name without possibly sounding racist and for all I k...
Socialist or Communist? In a Communist utopia, sure, but a Socialist one would still have some aspects of Capitalism and a tiny amount of positive unemployment.
Hey! Thanks for the comment! Engineer here too! Yeah, I know nuclear reactors don't work that way. It would be terrible if they did. But that was the only way I could think of to get the ending...
This year also saw the return of the “Initial 12’s,” the group of twelve year olds who had been sent to North Korea after the first lottery was in 1955, two years after the Korean War had e...
oh so the move to the surface is permanent?
This is my first time submitting on this subreddit and really my first attempt at writing for someone other than myself in 7 or 8 years. I will continue to update if interested. UNIFIED KOREA: ...
Hi there, This post has been removed as it violates the following rules: Top level replies that are not original stories or poems in response to the prompt are not allowed. Please refer to ...
I thought it was for "The" Day . And it just ended up sounding like, D-Day.
Great story, good read! There are some points i'd do differently though. > ... wrist, and every apartment has a hoverboard-type device for each > resident. As it's the person him...
Great post! I had to mention though, as a nuclear engineer: a fail-safe would never be releasing a radioactive plume over any part of the world. That's sort of the worst case scenario. Most react...
That was a bit too predictable. It's a great write-up but basically reading the first paragraph and the line > This year the winner will take the role of Supreme Leader of North >�...
Would D not be D1, therefore the day before? Surely 'D-Day' was technically D0?
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The only thing I didn't like was talking about RFID. It takes some magic away, especially when your technology is supposed to be superior to that of the rest of the world. You could instead just ...
I agree, as a writer myself, I don't believe that someone had to have perfect grammer or style in order to be creative, that's what editors or for.
But a Utopian society would most likely have forsook a Capitalistic economy and figured out how to make socialism work perfectly
I...guess? I feel like it was kind of forcing the story in a confusing manner by "declaring war"? Anyways, it doesn't really matter at this point. There are plenty of comments on OP's story that ...
Scariface == scary face or sacrifice? Also, what is "This is the last time though."?
s are loose guidelines to a story. Diverting from the details is fine.
Basically, Yes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_designation_of_days_and_hours
Just a heads up, radiation into the ocean is just as bad.
I thought it was well done but I think there was a ton of foreshadowing and the ending wasn't surprising.
And even Gen IV reactor designs don't release radiation to the environment with a power cut, a tsunami, and a 747 crash in the side. Fail-safe is an understatement. Environmental release is the...
Yeah I know. Kind of anti-climactic, but true none-the-less. D just stands for Day...
TIL Jeremy is a Korean name.
Yeah I think this point could be made slightly clearer but other than than a great story-line!
mind explodes I did not think of that.
Private Kim...
SLOW MOTION EATING POTATOES
My guess is that Best Korea has a way to clean up the mess, what with all their futuristic utopian tech, but first they need to deflect international scrutiny in the short term.
I like how yours took a darker look at the relationship between the surface world and the underground utopia. Instead of making it seem like these were just actors tricking the world, you created...
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it would be odd in a capitalist economy
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I like how in this prompt North Korea can still be interpreted as an underground dystopia with blatant propaganda.
The o is silent.
Worst Korea is simply best Korea before glorious leadership showed us the way.
I'll critique your writing if you critique mine. Pm me if you're down!
Correct. Due to the fact that there is only one Korea it is both the best and the worst.
They call that your ass
Wait... So it's just Day-Day?
Best one here.
so I started this with the disease being swine flu instead of HIV and just having one disease. Then I realized that swine flu is anachronistic, and if I remember correctly Ebola was just starting...
I assume the 20-40 year olds eventually have children and eventually hit 41.
No capitalism; no money Komrade :)
Whoa. Thank you fir explaining that ive always wondered.
Really good story, one small plot hole would be children and elderly on the surface in order to keep up the facade, maybe x number of family based tickets?
In Korea, the surname comes first. So the Private would be Mr. Kim.
That's really sweet of you, thanks!
Thanks, I haven't tried writing anything like this before. That's nice to hear.
Not best Korea, True Korea. South Korea is false korea.
Great story! Only thing is that there are people younger than 20 and older than 40 seen living in North Korea...
Damn. I wish this was longer so we could so Kim slowly descend into "accepting" his character. Good short.
Remembering that part this WP fits it so much, but even if N. Korea didn't go underground wouldn't zombies still not be able to affect them?
Worst Korea is Best Korea!
Good stuff. One critique, you foreshadowed the number by giving his seat number. I think you could leave out the explanation that the seat is your ticket number. People should catch that when the...
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Feb 16,1991 - the cold war has just come to an end and many countries are still uneasy with one another, especially in the intelligence community. North Korea is one of them...but the North Korea...
Got it. T plus 0 minutes.
Just thought I'd mention that 0% unemployment would actually have a negative effect on economies. The optimal amount is somwhere around 5% as this allows for growth and new businesses to emerge. ...
Slow rising bubbles?
Maybe it's not the fact that nobody's tried to kill anyone else, it could be possible that Healthcare is just so good that nobody dies. Of course that also comes with its own set of problems
Actually I was thinking no murders in the last 15 years = society is screwed. Too many problems attributed to a zero murder rate. Example: Them releasing radiation into the ocean and saying lying...
Yeah actually, but I just figured mentioning zero percent unemployment would be sort of odd in a non Capitalist economy. Oh well ¯_(ツ)_/¯
0% unemployment? What is the inflation rate?
Thank you! This is my first submission and english is not my mothers tongue so I apologize for any typos/grammatical faults. This seems like a really interesting sub with a great community, wil...
So that's what happened in N. Korea during World War Z! That part always nagged at me.
Well if it was a true communist nation controlled by the workers, wouldn't it be okay? Or for that matter, a true libertarian/anarchist society? Those are the true utopian societies anyways.
Dark, and very sad. I like the details of the glasses and the girl's happiness. There are a lot of typos, but I understand wanting to push something out there before this falls off the front page...
That was my thought too.
You don't need to follow a prompt exactly.
I miss my Razr, that thing was cool.
Your critiques were solid and genuinely would improve the piece if implemented.
Hwan Rhee slowly walked up on the stage. He could hear nothing but the sound of his heart beating more rapidly than ever and he drew a long, deep breath before turning around to face the crowd. T...
Of course, mate, I'll try to be as fair and helpful as possible.
God I want to read a book about his so bad
Revise what? It is you who is being fed Capitalist lies.
i recognize your voice! you voice-acted for skaijo's professor layton skits right?
agreed. I appreciate the help.
Oh, do you mean the southernmost region of Korea? Because it's still Korea; Kim Jong-Un still rules there and has ever since the reunification when he defeated the imperialist U.S. military.
> Every year, there is a lottery which picks people who must live on > the surface, to keep up the image of the country. Where was that part of the story?
Best Korea? Are you implying that there is another Korea?
Under. Ground. Utopia? Yes. In all seriousness? Are you out Why not? Because you cannot Look, we have it built. We just need the announcement. Kim Jae is on his way home. People, cafes, people...
Hey, screw the downvoters. When I came to this Sub, I thought it was a place to get creative prompts, write stories, and get feedback on those stories. I've rarely seen anyone give any kind of fe...
So could you say radiation will be bubbling up in t plus forty five minutes?
Isn't the point of criticism to help make something better? Down voting you for that is rather silly imho, but I suppose some people just think you're being an arse.
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IRL, zero percent unemployment would be terrible for the economy and it would increase employee exploitation by a ton. In best Korea however, I am sure that won't be an issue.
Well, he says that this is a special draw so presumably not that often. And the people on the surface are paid $90K a year so I presume that quite a lot of people want to stay and basically have ...
I got a lot of downvotes at the start, (going way below the treshold when I wrote this), but that's my fault for being pretty jerk-y about it. I genuinely liked your piece, though. I'm just use...
The man said it was a special ocassion, they dont choose a supreme leader every year, as for the other people... i guess theres more than just one draw?
I took it like North Koreans infiltrated the SK military so they could keep it hush hush if their secret was ever found out.
Thank you for your thoughts, and I'll be sure to take them into consideration next time.
I really enjoyed this one! One question though: how do they pick the other people that live on the surface? And also it would mean that there's a new leader every year?
This is fantastic. 10/10 would read more. :)
Too much exposition. You give a lot of details, but don't flesh any of them out, relying entirely on the monologue to give the reader an idea of what this society is like. Slow down, don't shove ...
you sound like tobuscus
This was great!
Honestly, this would make a great book! I would buy and read this in a heart beat.
That's how i took it
Motorola razor?
It's a fancy new flip phone dude.
Haha there would be no flip phones in a utopia! I'm kidding, great job.
Why did he kill him? Is the SK military in on it?
Dude you should write more that was fun from the beginning to the end
Ah yes thank you. I'll fix it when I have a moment.
"But dad I don't want to go" Choi exclaimed "this is the year the the bad stuff happens, why is it our turn?" Lee Ha couldn't bare it himself, of all years to lose the lottery it had to be this o...
We got to the surface through the subway stations. It was a long march up, even to the lowest levels of the underground system, because we couldn't risk using any kind of mechanical means of tran...
This was fucking dope, followed you on soundcloud, keep it up.
Private Kim Yong-Ho rushed into General Lee Song-Ra's office in a hurry. "Sir, I'm back from my reconnaissance assignment. You have to see this" he exclaimed. "This had better be important!" th...
Last line was a bombshell. Well done
I began the daily briefing like I normally did, "Okay Jeremy for today you'll be-" "Kim", he interrupted, "Call me Kim, it helps me get into character." Damn actors, we're still doing damage ...
This is perfect! Made my night!
That was odd. I liked it.
I half expected a mix tape.
Hahaha! That was great!
That was brilliant, keep it up!