A MAN decades younger than you who has already achieved more than you ever will can go and f**k himself, older generations have agreed.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/successful-young-person-can-fk-right-off-20240422247142
It's news to us
It's news to us
THE Post Office has announced that counterfeit stamps, heavy rain and the Arctic Monkeys’ recent loungecore albums are all postmasters’ fault.
It's news to us
THAMES Water is just as full as shit as the river it is named after and is responsible for pumping human excrement into, analysts have advised.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/thames-water-also-full-of-shit-20240328246524
‘BECAUSE we value our customers, we are continuing to charge the full price for a service that is far worse than advertised,’ say businesses, and the f**kers get away with it.
BUSINESSES displaying ‘Dogs Welcome!’ signs have clarified that they only mean nice, well-behaved and well-groomed middle-class dogs whose owners spend money.
WATER companies have told customers they can either pay higher bills or start enjoying excrement coming out of their taps.
£75m of Baroness Mone’s assets have been frozen. These are just a few of them.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/michelle-mones-frozen-assets-a-guide-20240126244946
It's news to us
EVERY big company in the UK has a wanky slogan, even the laughably useless privatised utilities and the downright evil Post Office. Here are some suggestions for updating them.
FORMER Post Office chief Paula Vennells will charge an eye-watering sum for returning her CBE by post, it has emerged.
YOUNG people all over the country are baffled after receiving small rectangles of paper for Christmas.
HUGE online discounts on books, clothes and electrical goods are the true meaning of Boxing Day, it has been confirmed.
A SUCCESSFUL entrepreneur has confessed that she neither has a working-class background or is prepared to make one up.
WANDERED into a curious little shop only to realise it sells nothing worth buying, you’re alone and the proprietor is staring at you? Here’s how to politely free yourself.
THE government has confirmed that it will make it impossible to travel between the north and south of the UK by totally f**king up the railways.
THE proprietor of a struggling American candy business only wishes money-laundering criminal syndicates were interested in his business.